Misunderstanding, An Issue Of Obvious Societal Concern



We’re all aware partners and friends in one way or the other experience ‘misunderstanding’, yet not deliberately intended to destroy either of the party’s interests. But when frictions get out of hand precisely when such issues cut across relationships and sexual affairs, questions of distrust and a terrible outcome could emerge out of the mix. However, with regards to such a scenario while taking into account several factors one may be braced with that could lead to an unpredicted outcome.

If we are to take a close look at this from all vectors and in all domains, we could see that a lot of factors that gave birth to the subject often evolve disproportionately, taking into account, critically the categories of victims that are most affected. Let’s say, for instance, a quarrel that evolved often among couples and also those in a sexual relationship more precisely the latter, if there is distrust and one of the concerned parties appears not to be helping issue precisely in the areas of responsibility, and when bonds are at a low point over some issues if misunderstood – frictions could mean fractures.

It is by universal misunderstanding that all agree. For if, by ill luck, people understood each other, they would never agree.” – Charles Baudelaire

Meanwhile, regarding our subject focus, it has suddenly become a huge concern since any of the parties involved with the subject matter could end up behind bars. This is based on the fact that it has become a growing concern because one of the concerned parties in a sexual relationship may feel abused or neglected due to distrust even when the source of the fracas is of course not completely verified, which in most cases the endpoint of such disaster may not be addressed easily once it has gained a lot of momentum. Sadly on the subject matter is when a victim of such an incident is left to rot in jail all in the name of awaiting trial due to legal delays. To shape this, however, I suppose it will be fair to wrap this context with a case.


The above name involved himself with the subject, which occurred between him and his lover whom he had desired to be his wife. According to him, they were living under the same roof, though not legally married but in a serious relationship, while in the process the young man got her pregnant and did not decline from taking responsibility for his partner’s welfare. He continued in this process until his lover had put to bed and even after.

Oddly enough – while still in the relationship he suddenly began to notice this strange attitude of his so-called lover, and the mother of their only child. In the process, he figured out that his lover wasn’t sincere and secretly cheated on him. Despite the challenges, he kept focused.

But before his lover’s pregnancy least, we skip this, Mr. Stan had actually graduated from the University of Lagos, Department of Economics, and has equally finished his National Youth Service Corp (NYSC) program dated 2013, of course, the same year he graduated – amazingly the year he met the subject girlfriend. At that time, Stan owns and operates a boutique where he retails new and used clothes. A business he learned through his friend.

Regarding how he got the business capital, he told me he got the capital from his father’s gratuity and the landed property belonging to his father as well that he had sold because he desires to build his career as an entrepreneur and not get tied down by any organization.

Meanwhile, the ugly side of the whole story began as a rumor, yet, as one of those cases of blowing things out of proportion, that Stan could be getting married to a different lady after he had sent the mother of his only child parking due to infidelity, this eventually led to serious ‘misunderstanding’. His lover got sad over the rumor and thought otherwise. So she requested that they should see knowing they had only separated due to infidelity, yet, Stan remained focused on taking care of their child. So he decided to visit his ex-lover based on her request, but Stan didn’t know he was in for something unimaginable, unknown that his separated lover had connived and positioned some policemen from her tribe to have him arrested, incriminating Stan that he made away with her gold and money which she planned will be used to secure her a visa.

Eventually, Stan was arrested in the process, beaten up, and imprisoned. The subject victim was still in prison and helpless as of the time of my visit.

  • But what’s the rationale behind this – misunderstanding?